Praise the River.

I am the River.

The River runs and moves forward, over obstacles, no matter what. The River has force, movement and strength. The river changes color depending on what’s in it or how the light strikes it. The light sees through.

Dana Martin

(Journal Prompt by Mary Reynolds-Thompson, Nature Talks)

This has been a week of contemplation and excitement that can only be described as a shift. It feels hopeful and scary at the same time. And I'm wondering if I am more open and allowing these shifts and transitions to happen. I have connected this week with Florence Williams, author of the Nature Fix and Heartbreak. And, I had the fortune of sharing a heartwarming discussion with Tamarack Song and Lety Seibel of the Healing Nature Center in Wisconsin. Crossing paths with these three individuals carried such meaning and overlap as we continue to build connection and community at Dogwood Healing Pathways. The running thread throughout this week was water, especially on personal reflection. Images of water, along with my many experiences with waterfalls, creeks, oceans and lakes, kept popping up. I have canoed, kayaked, rafted, sailed, skied and paddle boarded (with a marginal attempt at surfing) on water over my lifetime. I have swam out beyond the waves of Virginia Beach, VA, to train for sprint distance triathlons in my 20’s to encounter dolphins swimming alongside me. I have ridden many a’ waves growing up going to the Outer Banks of NC every summer as a child/teen. More recently, I have hiked hundreds of miles, whether solo, with my partner or in groups alongside water in the woods…so much water. The creeks and waterfalls beckon us to stop, look and feel. I have camped alongside mountain lakes and felt the peace of waking up to the air moving across the water.

The scary, maybe, is allowing the shift to happen, and, the unknowing. This unknowing space can be uncomfortable, but necessary for moving through. Water meets challenges and adjusts. Water has provided a place of solace and contemplation. At the same time, some of my most exhilarating and terrifying experiences have been on water. Water can be white and rushing or can be cool and calm. Water can be still which brings the pink, white and yellow water lilies. A favorite spot to paddle board has been around Lake Cunningham here in Greenville, SC. I compare this to my own experience of times that I stop and just trust the process. These are the times of such growth and opportunity. The lilies grow, only when the water is still. These are times I am reminded to go inward and trust that I am exactly where I need to be.

“I want to live within the rush of primal, intuitive decision, yet also wish to sit and contemplate. This is the messiness of life - that we all carry multitudes, so must sit with the shifts. We are complicated creatures, and ultimately, the balance comes from this understanding. Be water. Flowing, flexible and soft. Subtly powerful and open. Wild and serene. Able to accept all changes, yet still led by the pull of steady tides. It is enough.”

Victoria Erickson

^{What’s Inside}

^{By Dana Martin}

^{As I was listening to the Audible version of Heartbreak by Florence Williams, I was reminded of self-reliance. What we need to meet the challenge of hiking and backpacking in the wilderness lies inside of us, while gaining support of the group. Although the group may be moving through the same terrain, camping together in the same spots and hiking the same distances, our experiences are typically different from the next person. Each woman who ventures out into the wilderness came to it with different stories, wants and needs. Being in the wilderness requires that we take inventory of our bodies and listen in the process. Open communication of needs can enhance this experience of finishing a hike or backpacking retreat. Decisions are made about where the comfortable boundaries end and the more risky zone begins in the woods. The magic of autonomy and empowerment can play out, with your movement along the trail, meeting new experiences and living only with the contents of your backpack. There is somehow this newfound identity in experiencing nature and spending a few days and nights out in it. Nature and its wildness connects us to ourselves and always leaves us in awe. Exploring what’s inside of you and realizing your potential can be beautiful in this whole thing of healing and growing.}

I was thrilled to lay out my gear in preparation for spring backpacking in the upstate of South Carolina and Western North Carolina. First trip . . . the Foothills Trail . . . a through hike. We’ve mapped out our route and looking forward to a mix of backcountry and riverside camping. For those of you who have backpacked a time or two, this load, once you add on water and food (although water supply is not a problem on this trail) is too heavy on my back. So I’m laying awake at night, pondering how to lose some pounds in this load . . . smaller knife ✅, sacrifice the bear spray since my partner will have one already ✅, lightweight quilt ordered to replace heavy sleeping bag ✅, sacrifice the French press Jetboil (if I must) ✅, less the emergency blanket, no deodorant ✅, consider pocket rocket instead of Jetboil system ✅. I don’t know, just naming a few. My clothing has already been pared down to what I will be hiking in; add in some sleep clothes and a jacket. It is always crazy how all of this becomes so weighty.

I wonder how much I can pare down on and still feel safe? It’s as if knowing about all of the gear available to us brings with it a sense of urgency, to feel safe in remote places. I went a little nuts buying more first aid products after passing the wilderness first aid course. And I remember there are ways to make splints from items in nature and I can use my new quilt to manage, God forbid, any instances of hypothermia. But snacks though . . . I do worry about not having enough calories on the trail. Extra calories are important.

After careful review, I did use all of the above items except the larger knife, the emergency blanket, extra raincoat, and the first aid kit. I have to say, those new fire starters made life a little easier on our winter through-hike in January.

So of course I consider the mental aspect of things. Somehow less stuff equals less safe? And what about the intangibles of innovation in the woods, knowledge, creativity, minimalism, and confidence. These also go in my backpack. I’m still finding that balance and comfort zone within myself. With each and every backpacking trip comes experience and more knowledge. This last winter 2-nighter I learned my sleeping bag was not warm enough. We figured something happened with the loft even though it was stored properly etc. We had to improvise given the temps were in the 20’s at night. This was certainly out of my comfort zone since I don’t appreciate worry and distorted thinking when I’m shivering. My partner was there to be my thinking brain when I needed help. Outside of that, it was a good experience, with a little unexpected fly fishing thrown in.

But still that heavy pack . . . I’m going to re-pack again soon and weigh with the new, much lighter-weight quilt. That should shave off a pound or two. And with warmth for March backpacking comes a boost of confidence that I won’t be shivering through the night.