Resilience and Healing
When we go through trying times, whether it be break ups, losses, human rights violations, or abuse, we move through defining moments. Oftentimes, our bodies, brains and minds can move through difficult times and not feel debilitated. On the flip side, if the anxiety is palpable and the cortisol is drowning our brains, we work toward finding ways to manage and to allow our bodies to relax. This is where healing begins. Like healing a wound, it can only close with care, attention, ointments and bandaids. Our bodies and minds need the same love and attention when our foundation has been rocked to the core.
Once we can breathe for a minute and know that we will survive, the thinking and defining happens. Thoughts like “I won’t make it through this” or “This is the worst thing that could happen to anybody” or “Nobody feels as bad as I feel.” Like whoa, this gets heavy. Just writing this feels hard. What if we became less reactionary and more in control of our story? What if we flip the script and see ourselves as courageous? We start to question whether we can face challenges, even the good ones. If you imagine that your comfort zone has maybe been shrunk down to such a small circle or even a dot on the paper. What would it take to expand our comfort zone little by little? Safety can still be preserved by going within ourselves.
Now this is where I get excited, to talk about resilience. This is where I start to feel empowered and that it’s ok to be messy because in the end, we can define ourselves as resilient.
Realizing when we have the power to decide how things will go and how you believe things should be…this has to be one of the best feelings! You’re in charge. To define yourself as a victim and to move through life as such is to cheat yourself of living your best life. I believe that life gets messy so we can grow and be better for it.
In recovering and healing I strongly believe in the importance of friendships/relationships. I’ve tried the isolation bit and I can confidently say it doesn’t work. I often say to clients and my children…”it takes a village.” We can’t do this messy stuff alone. The people in your life who truly care can give perspective and guidance. When dealing with a traumatic event we can’t always see so clearly, everything feels so muddled in your head.
Also, during this journey of growth, healing and recovery, practicing self care becomes super duper important. It truly does take practice to just make it routine. Taking time for yourself means you are sending the message to yourself that “I matter”.
This all culminates into relaxation, re-writing your story, refusing to be defined by the messy, maintaining relationships and self care. Women take to nature and the trails and in doing so go within. Beautiful growth and clarity happens in the woods. We now have the research to support how much being in the woods can improve our mood and thinking. This was one of the most empowering shifts in my life, when I went to the woods. Navigating the challenges on the trails proved to be the best therapy. I invite you to try it to feel and know your best self.
Sam Millichap, “How to be a More Resilient Person” Medium 2022
Patrick Paul, The Conscious Book Review, If I Had Only 1 Book for Spiritual Inspiration, This Would Be My Choice