Resilience
“Resilience is a dynamic combination of optimism, creativity, and confidence, explains Andrew Zoli in his book Why Things Bounce Back. The author outlines how our beliefs can help us thrive (or not) — we can turn life events into something meaningful by focusing on the learning not on the experience itself.”
I would add, resilience is about adaptation, perception, and the story you are telling yourself. Also, during times of adversity, to realize what’s in your control. The situation you're faced with may be out of your control, but what can you control internally? You have agency over your mindset. There is power in giving pause and space during difficult times. Visualize the adversity as a separate thing, to actually look at and to examine.
The psychologist, Susan Kobasa, emphasizes the importance of challenge, commitment, and control.
Challenge — “Resilient people turn difficulty into a challenge — rather than fighting reality, they confront it. They don’t judge events but look to find the meaning and lessons behind them.”
Commitment — “The reason you want to get out of the bed every morning fuels your resilience. Having something to fight for — a mission bigger than yourself, your relationships or spiritual beliefs — gives you extra motivation. You don’t want obstacles to derail you from what’s important.”
Self-Control — “Free will is the realization that you own your actions. You can’t manage reality, but you can control your emotions and reactions. It’s your choice to waste your energy playing the victim or to focus on rescuing yourself from adversity.”
To overcome and recover, you must tend to your own needs first. You can tell the story. The effects of trauma can linger on if the event defines you. Your thinking, if restructured, can allow for learning, empowerment and curiosity.
“Resilience is less about who you are and more about how you think.”
By Gustavo Razzetti, “Resilience, How to Rescue Yourself from Adversity”
By Dana Martin, MSW
